Dec 18
From the inside out, Lord my soul cries out
In the past month I:
- Went to and completed Air Assault school.
- Lost my job because my orders ran out and were not renewed.
- Found out I was leaving for flight school in less than 3 weeks.
- Put our first house on the market.
- Signed a contract to sell our house less than 24hrs later.
- Began to PACK like crazy.
- Signed a lease for a house in Alabama.
A lot has happened in a very short amount of time, and I’m beginning to get a grasp on the concept of serving a God who is bigger than anything we can hope or imagine. The problem is, I am so prideful and selfish I can’t get over myself and just let go of my life. I look back and see the joy I used to have when I was following and serving God. I’m so envious of the life I used to lead… it was far from carefree, yet I lived it with complete abandon for God. I was willing to do almost anything he asked at any point. Now I find myself getting bitter and angry over stupid frustrations. I want to let it all go and get back to the simple joy of walking with God. It’s difficult for me to find joy in any of the blessings in my life because I am so distant from God. I haven’t worked out in almost a month, I’m not eating healthy foods, I’m snapping at my wife over little things, I can’t seem to force myself to sit down and read the Bible, and my prayer life is non-existent. Music doesn’t even impact me lately. Music was my life for years, now I haven’t even touched my guitar since last spring, and my favorite songs barely impact me anymore. I feel like I hit some sort of spiritual wall at the end of last year, and I’m still trying to pick up the pieces and put myself back together. I want to love God with all my heart, all my soul, and all my mind. I want to follow him. I want to serve him. I just can’t seem to bring myself to do it again, and I don’t really know why.
What I’m seeing lately is that God seems to be blessing me and my family simply because I am his child. I know that nothing I ever do or ever go through can change the fact that I’m God’s son because of Jesus Christ. I am utterly undeserving of any of God’s blessings no matter how good I am, yet even when I’m living so far from God, here they are… over and over again. A job at the right moment. A key contact to branch Aviation. A perfect, healthy, amazing son. Another job opportunity at the right moment. A spot in flight school. Selling our house in less than 24 hours in today’s market. All of this, not to mention having a wonderful wife, a great place to live, health, no debt, cars to drive, food in our pantry, and all of our needs taken care of… What have I done to deserve any of this? And still I’m not satisfied. I want more. This is where I begin to see God’s grace in action. I’ve never done anything to deserve this, even when I was a worship pastor. Living this past year far from God hasn’t changed the fact that I’m his child. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. This life isn’t mine at all. It all belongs to God. I’ve never deserved any of it. If I can wrap my brain around that concept it will change the way I live forever.
I need an awakening in me. Something has to change soon, I just hope it’s for the better. God, please don’t give up on me. I want to serve you again – please help me get back to you. From the inside out, Lord my soul cries out.
I started this post with the intention of writing about all the exciting things that have happened in the past month. Obviously all that needed to come out. I realize I’m being very transparent here, but I don’t care anymore. This is who I am – a man who is struggling to find his way back to God. I just hope that if anyone reads this that you can relate to what I’m going through, and hopefully, when all is said and done, this will help you get back to God too.
Nov 1
What to do when there’s not enough… Message Notes
How do you love people? How do you love your enemies? How do you love the annoying, boring, needy?
You cant just view people as customers, co-workers, clients… you have to view them as people with needs. Are you being helpful to those around you?
- How do you treat people when you’re worn down and tired? Do you still have compassion when it’s not convenient?
- Assess the problem and current resources to match the problem. You need the right heart and the right process. Good intentions without a good plan will get you nowhere.
- Give what you have. Dont expect/wait for Jesus to multiply what you have BEFORE you give it… without a gift, there is nothing to bless.
- Are you still willing to give it all when there’s nothing left? (Physically, mentally, emotionally, monitarily) When you give when you have nothing left, God can take it and multiply it.
- Serve rather than complain. Give rather than take. Make a difference rather than waiting for things to change.
- God is not a God of enough… God is a God of MORE than enough.
Sep 22
Experiencing God (Again)
You may not have noticed it by looking at me, but I’ve been going through a major spititual battle over the past several months. This has truly been one of the most trying times of my life, but I can tell it has the potential to be one of the most rewarding if I will just let God have his way. With that in mind, I’ve been making a concerted effort latley to seek out God amidst the turmoil. Since I was out of town visiting my parents this weekend, I “attended” church online at LifeChurch.tv (which is incredible by the way, and if you’re away from your regular church I highly recommend it). I can’t even begin to describe how the mind of God works to bring moments like this upon us, but I have no doubt in my mind I was supposed to hear the exact message Craig preached on Sunday.
“How To Drift From God” was a tongue in cheek, yet deadly serious message about the things we do to drift away from God – and it cut me to the core. As Craig put it, if you are far from God, God didn’t move…
My life was impacted and I was convicted, but what am I going to do about it now? I fear I will be like the seed in Jesus’ parable scattered on rocky soil or among the thorns, and either die off or get choked out before fulfilling God’s purpose for me… but my prayer is that the truth takes root in my heart again and that I will grow to follow God like I used to. I pray the Bible will be new and exciting again and that I am compelled to read it. I want prayer to be an essential part of my life, just as much as food and water. And I want to be willing to let go of “me”. I’ve learned over the past few months how selfish I really am, and I ask God not only to forgive me, but to use me how He sees fit (and I pray for the strength to say yes to whatever that is on a daily basis).
I need to simplify, unplug for a while, get away from things and seek God. I’ll ask anyone who reads this for your prayer, and I encourage you to seek God with me. Help me maintain accountabiliy for a few things I think I should be doing:
- Fast once a week until Oct 30
- Pray 30 min a day specifically for guidance and clarity
- Read at least the daily Bible reading from YouVersion.com and beging studying the bible again on my own.
- Post updates here with what God is teaching me and how I’m putting it into practice.
For now it’s time to get some sleep.
-Brian
May 28
Blackhawk Ride Video
May 12
The Strategic Debate Over Afghanistan
http://www.stratfor.com/weekly/20090511_afghanistan_and_u_s_strategic_debate
The Strategic Debate Over Afghanistan
By George Friedman
After U.S. airstrikes killed scores of civilians in western Afghanistan this past week, White House National Security Adviser Gen. James L. Jones said the United States would continue with the airstrikes and would not tie the hands of U.S. generals fighting in Afghanistan. At the same time, U.S. Central Command chief Gen. David Petraeus has cautioned against using tactics that undermine strategic U.S. goals in Afghanistan — raising the question of what exactly are the U.S. strategic goals in Afghanistan. A debate inside the U.S. camp has emerged over this very question, the outcome of which is likely to determine the future of the region.
On one side are President Barack Obama, Defense Secretary Robert Gates and a substantial amount of the U.S. Army leadership. On the other side are Petraeus — the architect of U.S. strategy in Iraq after 2006 — and his staff and supporters. An Army general — even one with four stars — is unlikely to overcome a president and a defense secretary; even the five-star Gen. Douglas MacArthur couldn’t pull that off. But the Afghan debate is important, and it provides us with a sense of future U.S. strategy in the region.
Petraeus and U.S. Strategy in Iraq
Petraeus took over effective command of coalition forces in Iraq in 2006. Two things framed his strategy. One was the Republican defeat in the 2006 midterm congressional elections, which many saw as a referendum on the Iraq war. The second was the report by the Iraq Study Group, a bipartisan group of elder statesmen (including Gates) that recommended some fundamental changes in how the war was fought.
The expectation in November 2006 was that as U.S. President George W. Bush’s strategy had been repudiated, his only option was to begin withdrawing troops. Even if Bush didn’t begin this process, it was expected that his successor in two years certainly would have to do so. The situation was out of control, and U.S. forces did not seem able to assert control. The goals of the 2003 invasion, which were to create a pro-American regime in Baghdad, redefine the political order of Iraq and use Iraq as a base of operations against hostile regimes in the region, were unattainable. It did not seem possible to create any coherent regime in Baghdad at all, given that a complex civil war was under way that the United States did not seem able to contain.
Most important, groups in Iraq believed that the United States would be leaving. Therefore, political alliance with the United States made no sense, as U.S. guarantees would be made moot by withdrawal. The expectation of an American withdrawal sapped U.S. political influence, while the breadth of the civil war and its complexity exhausted the U.S. Army. Defeat had been psychologically locked in.
Bush’s decision to launch a surge of forces in Iraq was less a military event than a psychological one. Militarily, the quantity of forces to be inserted — some 30,000 on top of a force of 120,000 — did not change the basic metrics of war in a country of about 29 million. Moreover, the insertion of additional troops was far from a surge; they trickled in over many months. Psychologically, however, it was stunning. Rather than commence withdrawals as so many expected, the United States was actually increasing its forces. The issue was not whether the United States could defeat all of the insurgents and militias; that was not possible. The issue was that because the United States was not leaving, the United States was not irrelevant. If the United States was not irrelevant, then at least some American guarantees could have meaning. And that made the United States a political actor in Iraq.
Petraeus combined the redeployment of some troops with an active political program. At the heart of this program was reaching out to the Sunni insurgents, who had been among the most violent opponents of the United States during 2003-2006. The Sunni insurgents represented the traditional leadership of the mainstream Sunni tribes, clans and villages. The U.S. policy of stripping the Sunnis of all power in 2003 and apparently leaving a vacuum to be filled by the Shia had left the Sunnis in a desperate situation, and they had moved to resistance as guerrillas.
The Sunnis actually were trapped by three forces. First, there were the Americans, always pressing on the Sunnis even if they could not crush them. Second, there were the militias of the Shia, a group that the Sunni Saddam Hussein had repressed and that now was suspicious of all Sunnis. Third, there were the jihadists, a foreign legion of Sunni fighters drawn to Iraq under the banner of al Qaeda. In many ways, the jihadists posed the greatest threat to the mainstream Sunnis, since they wanted to seize leadership of the Sunni communities and radicalize them.
U.S. policy under former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld had been unbending hostility to the Sunni insurgency. The policy under Gates and Petraeus after 2006 — and it must be understood that they developed this strategy jointly — was to offer the Sunnis a way out of their three-pronged trap. Because the United States would be staying in Iraq, it could offer the Sunnis protection against both the jihadists and the Shia. And because the surge convinced the Sunnis that the United States was not going to withdraw, they took the deal. Petraeus’ great achievement was presiding over the U.S.-Sunni negotiations and eventual understanding, and then using that to pressure the Shiite militias with the implicit threat of a U.S.-Sunni entente. The Shia subsequently and painfully shifted their position to accepting a coalition government, the mainstream Sunnis helped break the back of the jihadists and the civil war subsided, allowing the United States to stage a withdrawal under much more favorable circumstances.
This was a much better outcome than most would have thought possible in 2006. It was, however, an outcome that fell far short of American strategic goals of 2003. The current government in Baghdad is far from pro-American and is unlikely to be an ally of the United States; keeping it from becoming an Iranian tool would be the best outcome for the United States at this point. The United States certainly is not about to reshape Iraqi society, and Iraq is not likely to be a long-term base for U.S. offensive operations in the region.
Gates and Petraeus produced what was likely the best possible outcome under the circumstances. They created the framework for a U.S. withdrawal in a context other than a chaotic civil war, they created a coalition government, and they appear to have blocked Iranian influence in Iraq. But these achievements remain uncertain. The civil war could resume. The coalition government might collapse. The Iranians might become the dominant force in Baghdad. But these unknowns are enormously better than the outcomes expected in 2006. At the same time, snatching uncertainty from the jaws of defeat is not the same as victory.
Afghanistan and Lessons from Iraq
Petraeus is arguing that the strategy pursued in Iraq should be used as a blueprint in Afghanistan, and it appears that Obama and Gates have raised a number of important questions in response. Is the Iraqi solution really so desirable? If it is desirable, can it be replicated in Afghanistan? What level of U.S. commitment would be required in Afghanistan, and what would this cost in terms of vulnerabilities elsewhere in the world? And finally, what exactly is the U.S. goal in Afghanistan?
In Iraq, Gates and Petraeus sought to create a coalition government that, regardless of its nature, would facilitate a U.S. withdrawal. Obama and Gates have stated that the goal in Afghanistan is the defeat of al Qaeda and the denial of bases for the group in Afghanistan. This is a very different strategic goal than in Iraq, because this goal does not require a coalition government or a reconciliation of political elements. Rather, it requires an agreement with one entity: the Taliban. If the Taliban agree to block al Qaeda operations in Afghanistan, the United States will have achieved its goal. Therefore, the challenge in Afghanistan is using U.S. power to give the Taliban what they want — a return to power — in exchange for a settlement on the al Qaeda question.
In Iraq, the Shia, Sunnis and Kurds all held genuine political and military power. In Afghanistan, the Americans and the Taliban have this power, though many other players have derivative power from the United States. Afghan President Hamid Karzai is not Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki; where al-Maliki had his own substantial political base, Karzai is someone the Americans invented to become a focus for power in the future. But the future has not come. The complexities of Iraq made a coalition government possible there, but in many ways, Afghanistan is both simpler and more complex. The country has a multiplicity of groups, but in the end only one insurgency that counts.
Petraeus argues that the U.S. strategic goal — blocking al Qaeda in Afghanistan — cannot be achieved simply through an agreement with the Taliban. In this view, the Taliban are not nearly as divided as some argue, and therefore their factions cannot be played against each other. Moreover, the Taliban cannot be trusted to keep their word even if they give it, which is not likely.
From Petraeus’ view, Gates and Obama are creating the situation that existed in pre-surge Iraq. Rather than stunning Afghanistan psychologically with the idea that the United States is staying, thereby causing all the parties to reconsider their positions, Obama and Gates have done the opposite. They have made it clear that Washington has placed severe limits on its willingness to invest in Afghanistan, and made it appear that the United States is overly eager to make a deal with the one group that does not need a deal: the Taliban.
Gates and Obama have pointed out that there is a factor in Afghanistan for which there was no parallel in Iraq — namely, Pakistan. While Iran was a factor in the Iraqi civil war, the Taliban are as much a Pakistani phenomenon as an Afghan one, and the Pakistanis are neither willing nor able to deny the Taliban sanctuary and lines of supply. So long as Pakistan is in the condition it is in — and Pakistan likely will stay that way for a long time — the Taliban have time on their side and no reason to split, and are likely to negotiate only on their terms.
There is also a military fear. Petraeus brought U.S. troops closer to the population in Iraq, and he is doing this in Afghanistan as well. U.S. forces in Afghanistan are deployed in firebases. These relatively isolated positions are vulnerable to massed Taliban forces. U.S. airpower can destroy these concentrations, so long as they are detected in time and attacked before they close in on the firebases. Ominously for the United States, the Taliban do not seem to have committed anywhere near the majority of their forces to the campaign.
This military concern is combined with real questions about the endgame. Gates and Obama are not convinced that the endgame in Iraq, perhaps the best outcome that was possible there, is actually all that desirable for Afghanistan. In Afghanistan, this outcome would leave the Taliban in power in the end. No amount of U.S. troops could match the Taliban’s superior intelligence capability, their knowledge of the countryside and their willingness to take casualties in pursuing their ends, and every Afghan security force would be filled with Taliban agents.
And there is a deeper issue yet that Gates has referred to: the Russian experience in Afghanistan. The Petraeus camp is vehement that there is no parallel between the Russian and American experience; in this view, the Russians tried to crush the insurgents, while the Americans are trying to win them over and end the insurgency by convincing the Taliban’s supporters and reaching a political accommodation with their leaders. Obama and Gates are less sanguine about the distinction — such distinctions were made in Vietnam in response to the question of why the United States would fare better in Southeast Asia than the French did. From the Obama and Gates point of view, a political settlement would call for either a constellation of forces in Afghanistan favoring some accommodation with the Americans, or sufficient American power to compel accommodation. But it is not clear to Obama and Gates that either could exist in Afghanistan.
Ultimately, Petraeus is charging that Obama and Gates are missing the chance to repeat what was done in Iraq, while Obama and Gates are afraid Petraeus is confusing success in Iraq with a universal counterinsurgency model. To put it differently, they feel that while Petraeus benefited from fortuitous circumstances in Iraq, he quickly could find himself hopelessly bogged down in Afghanistan. The Pentagon on May 11 announced that U.S. commander in Afghanistan Gen. David McKiernan would be replaced, less than a year after he took over, with Lt. Gen. Stan McChrystal. McKiernan’s removal could pave the way for a broader reshuffling of Afghan strategy by the Obama administration.
The most important issues concern the extent to which Obama wants to stake his presidency on Petraeus’ vision in Afghanistan, and how important Afghanistan is to U.S. grand strategy. Petraeus has conceded that al Qaeda is in Pakistan. Getting the group out of Pakistan requires surgical strikes. Occupation and regime change in Pakistan are way beyond American abilities. The question of what the United States expects to win in Afghanistan — assuming it can win anything there — remains.
In the end, there is never a debate between U.S. presidents and generals. Even MacArthur discovered that. It is becoming clear that Obama is not going to bet all in Afghanistan, and that he sees Afghanistan as not worth the fight. Petraeus is a soldier in a fight, and he wants to win. But in the end, as Clausewitz said, war is an extension of politics by other means. As such, generals tend to not get their way.