You may not have noticed it by looking at me, but I’ve been going through a major spititual battle over the past several months. This has truly been one of the most trying times of my life, but I can tell it has the potential to be one of the most rewarding if I will just let God have his way. With that in mind, I’ve been making a concerted effort latley to seek out God amidst the turmoil. Since I was out of town visiting my parents this weekend, I “attended” church online at LifeChurch.tv (which is incredible by the way, and if you’re away from your regular church I highly recommend it). I can’t even begin to describe how the mind of God works to bring moments like this upon us, but I have no doubt in my mind I was supposed to hear the exact message Craig preached on Sunday.

“How To Drift From God” was a tongue in cheek, yet deadly serious message about the things we do to drift away from God – and it cut me to the core. As Craig put it, if you are far from God, God didn’t move…

My life was impacted and I was convicted, but what am I going to do about it now? I fear I will be like the seed in Jesus’ parable scattered on rocky soil or among the thorns, and either die off or get choked out before fulfilling God’s purpose for me… but my prayer is that the truth takes root in my heart again and that I will grow to follow God like I used to. I pray the Bible will be new and exciting again and that I am compelled to read it. I want prayer to be an essential part of my life, just as much as food and water. And I want to be willing to let go of “me”. I’ve learned over the past few months how selfish I really am, and I ask God not only to forgive me, but to use me how He sees fit (and I pray for the strength to say yes to whatever that is on a daily basis).

I need to simplify, unplug for a while, get away from things and seek God. I’ll ask anyone who reads this for your prayer, and I encourage you to seek God with me. Help me maintain accountabiliy for a few things I think I should be doing:

- Fast once a week until Oct 30
- Pray 30 min a day specifically for guidance and clarity
- Read at least the daily Bible reading from YouVersion.com and beging studying the bible again on my own.
- Post updates here with what God is teaching me and how I’m putting it into practice.

For now it’s time to get some sleep.

-Brian